I write fanfic now and since I don’t want the blog to serve solely as a repository for my scripts, I’ll be posting it here, alongside AO3.
Ruki knew that Kaos was gay. It’d be hard for anyone not to catch onto that fact. From the praying to God when she felt Koyume’s boobs to the massive amounts of drooling she did for almost any girl, it’d be a testament to someone’s obliviousness if they were unable to catch on. It was a bit odd that she often didn’t seem to consider herself among the other girls but she was clearly into them. Kaos was certainly not in any closets Ruki was aware of.
Ruki also knew that she was gay. While she might not have been as open or even as sure about it as Kaos seemed to be, she’d had a feeling for a long time, and her experiences with Tsubasa had made that pretty clear. While she still occasionally worried about it, Ruki had mostly settled into accepting her sexuality at this point, and given how Kaos and Koyume always acted, she had a lot less reason to worry about it than she used to.
What Ruki didn’t know was how to deal with her feelings for Kaos. It’s not as if it was odd of her to see the tiny girl as cute. She tended to like small and cute things, it was why she had become a mangaka after all, and that applied to girls. But usually, it was just that, finding them cute. She wasn’t exactly attracted to them or anything.
Kaos had been that way at first. But as time went on, Ruki’s feelings of affection turned more and more romantic in nature. Eventually, it was hard to deny that this was, at the very least, a crush.
But it was odd. After all, Ruki had thought she was in love with Tsubasa for the longest time. She’d been her first kiss after all and Ruki certainly found herself thinking about Tsubasa fairly often. But somehow, her feelings for Kaos felt more intimate, more intense.
Were her feelings for Tsubasa just friendship? They had just been fooling around when they kissed. It was certainly important in helping Ruki to realize her sexuality, but did she really love her or was she just happy to be friends with another girl who liked girls? She wasn’t sure.
“Ahhh, this isn’t getting me anywhere!”
It’s fine. It’s fine. If she feels more strongly about Kaos, she can just focus on Kaos. Okay, hurdle cleared. She’s fine.
But how did Kaos feel about her? She’s gay, sure, and she’s expressed interest in all three dormmates. She’s such an adorable disaster, she’d go for the first person who expressed interest as long as they were a girl. Of that, Ruki could be sure.
But did she really like her? She didn’t want Kaos to agree to go out with her solely because she’s so thirsty that she’d agree to date just about anyone. She wanted Kaos to like her for who she was, not for simply being a girl.
And could she really avoid taking advantage of her? Kaos might be horny but she wasn’t exactly drawing porn manga for a living. Ruki had a feeling that for as much as Kaos was into girls, she’d have no idea what to do once she was actually with one. She, on the other hand, was at least somewhat functional. Couldn’t that lead to a pretty nasty power imbalance?
“This could end up being a massive disaster.”
She knew all this worrying and introspection wasn’t actually getting her anywhere but she was still too anxious to actually talk to Kaos about all this. Perhaps a discussion with Tsubasa could help? She’d rather not, given that she hadn’t totally worked out her feelings for her, but it was better than nothing and she didn’t want to bother Koyume about this.
“Just go for it, she’d definitely say yes.”
“That doesn’t help Tsu-chan, I know she’d say yes, that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“She’s all over you Rukki, did you see her that day you almost passed out from exhaustion? Everything you did drove her up the wall.”
“She’s like that for everyone! I’m not special there. She’d go out with you or Koyume-chan if either of you asked.”
“So? That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, it just means she likes a lot of people.”
Oh. Yeah. That made sense, actually. It wasn’t reasonable to expect Kaos to only be interested in one person. Hell, it wouldn’t have even been fair, given that Ruki was still confused about Tsubasa herself.
“Thanks, Tsu-chan. That really helped.”
Tsubasa was already back to drawing as Ruki turned around to thank her.
“Given that girl’s nerves, I’m going to have to be the one to ask her out.”
Even though she said that, it wouldn’t exactly be easy. Tsubasa’s advice had helped but that didn’t mean all of Ruki’s concerns totally disappeared. Still, nothing would happen if she didn’t even try.
Ruki slowly made her way over to Kaos and Koyume’s room, breathing perhaps a bit too deeply in an attempt to keep herself calm. It wasn’t working all that well but it was better than nothing. As she began to open their door, the anxiety flared up once again, but she steeled herself and continued.
“R-Ruki-san! What are you doing here?”
“I had something I wanted to talk to you about. Is Koyume-chan here? I’d rather it just be us.”
“N-no, she’s not right now.”
Kaos was clearly imagining some romantic or sexual scenario from the moment Ruki indicated this would be a one-on-one conversation. It’s funny how right she was for once.
“S-so, Kaos-chan, ummm…”
Ahhh, this wasn’t going anywhere. She’d declared that she’d move forward with this, why was she backing out now?
She knew she could do it. It’s just, it was hard. It was really hard.
“So, Kaos-chan, do you umm, like me? Not in a friendly way but in a romantic way?”
Ah. She had figured this would happen. She should’ve prepared more for this.
“I mean, would you, um, like to go out with me? I’ve realized over the last bit that I really like you. You’re not just cute but nice to be around, spending time with you just makes me happier. Helping you as your senpai is nice but I kinda want to get closer, assuming you’re fine with that.”
“Uh-huh. Y-yes. I’m m-more than fine with that, Ruki-san! But wouldn’t you, uh, rather go out with a more normal girl?”
“What are you talking about? You’re a perfectly normal girl. An absolutely adorable one.”
“O-Okay! Yes, I’ll go out with you!”
Those were the words. She’d been worried about so many things outside of Kaos saying yes, and yet that approval was enough to put her on cloud nine, enough to remove all her doubts. She’d been expecting it and yet it was so sweet to hear coming out of her cute little mouth.
Koyume walked back in soon enough, though she showed little shock at the situation, basically just asking whether or not Ruki would help her with Tsubasa later on. She agreed, of course.
How would her feelings regarding Tsubasa work out? How would this relationship go? She didn’t know but just having Kaos respond to her feelings made it all fine. And for now, she had to talk to her editor anyway.
“So, I thought maybe I could make a Girls’ Love work for my next serialization…”